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Sunday, April 19, 2009

The Point Is--



It's finally a little bit warm here in Seattle, so we opened windows. When I caught Girlie and Sam Sam jumping off the Barbie house roof--again--I just had it. {Flashback to the playroom picture, with the Barbie house positioned right by a window} The danger, children!! I marched determinedly in to make my point clear. Into my mind sprung an effective, albeit gruesome, object lesson involving an egg (representing their heads) and gravity (representing gravity). I made them watch as I popped the screen out at the back of the play room, proving just how easily a misstep on the Barbie roof could result in a tumble through the window. I put a pan on the ground outside the window (to catch the mess and ordered them to watch closely.

What if this little egg were your head???

Dramatically, I let it plummet to sure death.


Okay, this picture is what is was supposed to look like. Instead, the egg missed the pan by a good foot and simply thudded down onto the soft mulch and rolled lazily down the landscaping to a gentle stop. Completely unharmed. The kids just stared. I tried my very best to swallow the guffaw that exploded out. They looked up at me from the patio as I leaned out the window. I didn't know what to do at this point, so I stuck to my guns and pointed emphatically to the peacefully resting egg.

Do you see this? Do you want your little heads to end up like this??? I choked back more laughter, because the kids were staring solemnly at this egg, but I could tell they had no idea what was supposed to be so bad. They looked up at me seriously and I had to pull my head in for a minute for my laughter to die down.

I'm serious guys, do you want your head to just... be 'rolling' all over the ground like that? Look at that poor egg! I was just dying at this point. I had to exercise some seriously hard core self control to continue my tirade.

Well, the point is, that THIS could happen to YOU, if you keep climbing on the Barbie house. You could fall out the window, all the way to the ground. Do you guys understand me??

Wide eyes gravely assured me that they understood, although clearly they had no idea what on earth their zany mama was trying to prove.

I brushed the mulch off the serene little egg and my now-dirty pan and tramped sternly back into the house to drive the point home, snorting in laughter the whole way.

The point is, I think I just taught my kids how to pop off the screens and throw eggs out the window.

11 love notes:

Zann said...

Mel, I am laughing just picturing you trying to hold it together. I think I would be hiding those eggs from your sweet children!

Happy Mom said...

This is HILARIOUS!!! I just had to read it to my husband and fourteen year old son because they had to know what was SO funny!

It's soooo true to life, when you want to teach your children a good lesson, it always backfires.

You made my day!

Amy R said...

Oh, I love it. I'm nearly crying from laughing (silently, since I'm at the library). Been there!

Anonymous said...

Too funnY! Good luck with that. Hopefully, your kids will remember how serious you seemed and not all the details.

Kate Nelson said...

I am still laughing! Thank you for sharing your funny life. I have a pretty good picture in my head of their blank looks and your fake stern voice. What a great story - I will have to remember it the next time one of my "life's lesson's" doesn't go exactly as planned.

Becky said...

Laughing hysterically over here! So funny! Of course it didn't break...does anything ever go as planned?!

mandy said...

Oh my gosh, Melynie, I am laughing my head off! Is that the funny story you had to tell me? I love it! I can totally imagine you going on with it like that was supposed to happen. You are hilarious!

Tasha said...

An awesome story! I can just imagine the irony of it all--you were genius for thinking about the egg comparison and it of course doesn't work. Who would have thought?
Jeff hasn't decided on a specialty yet, though right now he's thinking of rural medicine (which I'm not a fan of the small town thing, so I hope he changes his mind). Rotations start in July and he'll finally be exposed to several different options, so we'll wait and see.

Laura F said...

TOO funny!!! I, too, had to read it out loud to Justin and almost couldn't get through it. How I would have loved to have been there, but the way you wrote it up I can totally picture it! So, what's next? Bars on the windows?

Holly said...

This just cracks me up! (too bad the egg didn't) I love reading your blog with all the cute stuff, great info plus the recipes and the laughs. What a great blog you have! Thanks for sharing with us.

The Wrights said...

The story is hilarious by itself--but then to think of YOU telling this to your kids---oh so funny!