Thursday, January 15, 2009

Like, Totally. What-ever (do the hands).

I'm no dummy. Standardized test scores will attest.


Let's just say...

Okay. This morning I googled myself for fun. Always entertaining to see what is floating around in cyberspace about you. Several entries came up, mostly from people who list me on their blogs or business/interior design listings. Then, right near the bottom, was an article from the Deseret News. How funny, thought I, there is someone with my exact same maiden name. I started reading the article. It was some sports article, detailing the thoughts of BYU/Utah students on the upcoming rivalry game.

A side note: I am pretty sure that before I came to earth, during the distribution of talents, I said, "Hey, I will trade all of my athletic talents for creativity." and He said, "Done." Apparently, that includes sports knowledge or interest, too. I have never, and still don't, have any clue when it comes to sports. None. I don't know how many quarters are in a hockey game, don't know what an 'option' is, except that it runs in a football game. Clearly, I don't know much. The things I do know: 1. Sports are played by teams. Or individuals. 2. Just because a team has colors you like (which is how I generally decide who I am cheering for), doesn't mean they're good. and 3. The Celtics haven't been the same since Bird left.

The last one was a highly effective line that I would pull out when I wanted to impress guys with my sports knowledge. I don't know what it means. I only know that when I would say it, the guy would invariably raise their eyebrows and nod, impressed. They'd then jump in and start rambling about basketball and I'd just sit back and say, "Oh, totally." I think I've made my point.

Back to this article. I skimmed through different student's opinions, including a Ute girl who assumed they'd win because their "uniforms look better." Every student they mentioned sounded like they were a ditzy blonde, grape gum smacking, head bobbing, giggling coed. You could almost see them tossing their hair and winking at cute guys walking by. Then,

Shannon Funk, a freshman art major at BYU, figured the Cougars will win by 30. "Utah's pretty good, actually," she said. The Rock Report could only wonder what score she would have predicted otherwise.

Finally, there was Melynie James, a freshman public relations major at BYU, who picked the Cougs to win by 40. Why 40?

"Because," she said, "we don't drink beer."

Huh, that's weird. I was friends with a Shannon Funk at BYU. ...You know, I was a public relations major when I started (it was as close to a party planning major as I could find). Weird.

Scroll to the top. Date: November 19, 1996. Weird. That's the year I was a loud, bubbly, energetic [obnoxious] freshman.

Oh. My. Gosh. That's me.

I laughed out loud and went to get J to witness it. "Yeah. That sounds like something you'd say," he replied, after the laughter died down. Then he reminded me of how lucky I was that we met after that phase of my personality had mellowed. I tried to explain that, at the time I'm sure I had no idea what "40 points" even meant, and that even though I was a season ticket holder, I went to the football games primarily to watch the Cougarettes perform at half-time. He just laughed more.

All I have to say is, like, what-ever.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009


The kids were playing today and I heard Girlie say, "Okay, my name will be Chips." So I said, "Your name can be Chips and Sammy can be Salsa. That way, you guys can be Chips and Salsa!"

She looked at me like it was the most ridiculous thing she'd ever heard and said, "Mommy, salsa is a girl's name!"

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Help, Please!

In an ill-fated attempt to change my background, my blog list of friends and family was completely erased. PLEASE leave your blog address in the comments so I can piece it back together, as I cannot possibly remember every address on that list! My memory is just not that good. THANK YOU!!!

J and I are Living in Different Homes

Rest assured, he is as precious and essential to me as anything I could imagine. I adore him and love him with all my heart. But, the fact remains, we don't live in the same house.

Let me tell you about his house. He lives in a house that has a Laundry Fairy. Do you have one of those? Apparently they're very handy. From what I understand, if you are so fortunate to have a Laundry Fairy, all you have to do is toss your clothes in some basket. And wait. Soon, without you even doing anything or seeing anything, lavender-and-vanilla-smelling laundry appears, neatly folded, in your drawer. One time, there must have been a substitute fairy, though, because J commented that his regular fairy put his socks in a drawer, instead of leaving them in a pile on his dresser. I will say, his fairy does not do ironing, though. Apparently she hates ironing and thinks if he really wants it wrinkle-free he can do it himself. She can't do everything, for crying out loud.

I have no such fairy. If I leave my dirty clothes in the basket, they just sit there and stare at me.

He also has toilet paper fairy. The poor man, evidently, hasn't quite figured out the whole toilet paper replacement process, despite the master's degree that I just supported him through these last few years. Luckily for him, he doesn't have to worry about it. He can 1-leave it bare or 2-he can simply leave a roll of toilet paper sitting on the bathroom counter. She fixes it every time, bless her heart.

As for me, I have to change my own toilet paper rolls.

J also gets to sleep in a quiet house. How lucky is he?!? He goes to sleep at night, and then wakes up the next morning. It all sounds so simple...

I can't remember the last time I slept through the night. It's just not quiet in my house. I think something happened to my ears when I had kids.

There are a multitude of fairies that dwell in J's house. Did I mention that he also has a Teach Your Kids Manners Fairy, a Grocery Fairy that magically stocks his cupboards, a Dinner Fairy that cooks for him, and a Part-time Diaper Fairy, that just happens to do most of the dirty diapers?

It's all this and more that make me think he's a pretty lucky guy. Maybe I'll move to his house. Except that I've got a Lawn Mowing Fairy, a Pay the Bills Fairy, Listen to Me Rant Fairy, and a Drive in Bad Weather Fairy over at my place. Plus a magic bank account that grows money. I think I'll stay.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

If You Don't Like Cheesy, Don't Read This

Can I just throw this out there? There is SUNSHINE in my soul today. I am so, inexplicably happy. So it's rainy today? First, what's new? And second, it's just getting things ready for a really beautiful summer. Thirdly, the cloudiness doesn't dampen my spirits, it just makes me want to take a nap. And who doesn't love naps? Does it matter that Sammy knocked over a display at the grocery store while jumping, Dukes-of-Hazard-style into the race car cart at Albertson's? No, it just makes for a funny story. And, enough said, I got the equivalent of 48 rolls of Charmin Ultra Soft toilet paper for $5.00. Score.

This day, for whatever reason, is terrific!!! That's right, people, THREE exclamation marks. I have been seriously considering chopping my hair (now that I am away from my darling St. Louis friends, most of whom have some version of the haircut I want), but for today, I am working this high ponytail. And, as if the traffic system somehow got wind of my great mood, all the traffic lights have been green for me today. Or at least I've eeked under the yellow light. Whatever.

I swear my baby is even cuter than yesterday. Also, Sammy is being so obedient, it's eerie. What a fun word--eerie. Kind of pretty, don't you think?

So, I am sending vibes of cheerfulness into the blog-universe. For those people sickened by the excess of happiness, I'm sorry. Wait, no, I'm NOT sorry. You could use a shot of sunshine yourself, my friend.

Sunday, January 4, 2009

I Have a Purple Door

I'm back, after a lengthy Christmas break/blogcation. It was fabulous, and I will blog about it soon. This post is not about Christmas, however.

Someday, J and I are going to have a really funny conversation that starts something like this:

"Hey, remember 2008?"

"Oh yeah, that was that crazy year where we bought a minivan without seeing it, and then moved to Seattle and bought a house without seeing it, wasn't it?"

Oh, yeah, I forgot to mention, we bought a house. A lovely home, from the pictures emailed to us by Adam, our realtor. One of the 80 pictures (still under construction) he sent us is posted above. I actually had gone through this home before, but spent only 2 minutes, tops, glancing around at the drywall and sawdust that it was back then. I was interested in another home in the new subdivision.

Then, as we were blessed to sell our St. Louis home, I suddenly saw this home in a new light. I'm convinced that divine light was shed on the plat map I had, and I realized it was the very best fit we'd found yet. The beautiful neighborhood, new home, in our price range, biggest backyard on the street (still about the size of your average sofa, but on the flip side--it will only take about 2 minutes to mow, seriously), close to Girlie's bilingual school. Still without laying eyes on this place again, our realtor brought over a contract the morning that we left for Christmas. After a series of emails and faxes, we'd soon purchased a home.

Here's the floorplan, should you wish to peek: The Chesapeake Floorplan

We feel so very, very blessed. It was like there was sunshine again. Anyway, the first thing we did yesterday when we got back to Seattle was go to see the home we'd bought. And to my surprise, I had a purple door.
(PS: The door in the picture is a temp one. I'll get a picture of the purple one later.)