Thursday, September 8, 2011

Cheapskate Tooth Fairy

Our Tooth Fairy is cheapskate.  She only pays 50 cents, but she does leave little teeny tiny notes thanking Girlie for her teeth and telling her how very cute they are.  Girlie is still very grateful for the money, and Sammy is still duly impressed.  Not that being unimpressed would change the Tooth Fairy's budget.  I just don't think she's swayed by popular opinion.  One time I visited Girlie's kindergarten class when a little boy, Ishan, had just lost a tooth so he stood up and told everyone about it.  His Tooth Fairy apparently operates on a much heftier budget, because that kid got 20 bucks for his tooth with which he was going to buy a new transformer.  I'm guessing that by now (3rd grade) his Tooth Fairy is up to her eyeballs in debt.  I mean, that first tooth wasn't even a molar.  At best it was a canine.
Some more information on the Tooth Fairy you might not already know, according to Girlie and Sam:

Does the Tooth Fairy have a 1st name?  Yes, Tooth.

How big is she?  One inch.

What are her hobbies?  Building a castle out of teeth.  She likes taking people's teeth to make jewelry and other accessories.  And pot holders, too.  And sewing, she likes that too.

What does she do with the teeth?  She makes jewelry and accessories, like we already said.

Where does she live?  In a tooth castle.  Where else would she live?

Does she have a family?  Yes.  She's a queen.  Her husband's name is Robert.  Her children are Bob and Jimmy and Toothy-loo-loo.  She has a fish named Toothy.  She has a dog, maybe, whose name is Toothalicious.

Does she have helpers?  Yes.  20,000 million.

When does she sleep? She sleeps when all the tooth work is done.  Sometimes her helpers go so she can sleep.

Where does she get her money?  She steals it.


I've got to be careful though. One time the kids were looking through their boxes of special memories and all of a sudden I hear "Look!  It says it's my first tooth!!"  I wheeled around, Girlie was holding a little tooth sized envelope. "Whaaaaattt????" I said in a voice suddenly too high pitched, "She... gave it back to me????  That's soooo niiiiice!  She must have known how much I'd looooove it!!"  Now, I usually have big problems with lying to my kids, but it seemed to me that since this wasn't detracting from any deeply spiritual holiday that I am aware of, it was okay to perpetuate the Tooth Fairy myth.  Innocuous, right?  Girlie totally bought it.

Anyway, we'll stick with our cheap Tooth Fairy.  Girlie will continue to deposit her 50 cents into our Family Bank, which earns 50% interest (we're trying to teach them the value of saving), and by the time she heads off for BYU in only 10 years (only 10 years...sniff, sniff) her teeth will pay for a semester of books. But, really, how much is the going rate for teeth these days?

7 love notes:

dave&hannah said...

HAHa, oh my gosh!!! I admit I'm a little surprised at encouraging the tooth fairy myth..but there has been A LOT of great stories from your kids that came from that! I love all the explanation about that crazy little lady with an affinity for teeth.

HangerMom said...

Thank you! Our tooth fairy is also sticking to two shiny quarters per tooth. Every once in a while if there's something special (daddy had to pull it, or two teeth were lost on the same day or something), she'll opt for a fifty-cent piece or maybe even a Sacagawea dollar. But that's big time around here.

I just saw a FB friend post that for her daughter's first lost tooth she got $5, a dvd and I think there was something else. Her daughter then proceeded to lose two more teeth THAT WEEK! I told her she was probably pulling them for the rewards :).

Tooth Fairy inflation has been crazy since we were kids. I'm kind of glad our Tooth Fairy is old school.

Bryner Family said...

Jill always got 50 cents but Miranda's first two were so traumatic and took forever to get out and then I finally had to pull them.... so she got a $1 for each. Jill was highly offended by that. Ha ha. Hopefully the rest fall out easily and we'll go back to 50 cents. :) I wish we'd never started the Tooth Fairy myth because Jill knows the truth and obviously Miranda will soon and then what a letdown! Oh well! :)

Melissa said...

Our kids get a dollar. Sometimes a dollar and change. We try to mix it up because the tooth fairy has helpers and sometimes a different helper left the money. Kids are awesome!

Things' Mommy said...

Okay, so I'm not completely crazy. Glad to hear that everyone else has reasonable tooth fairies. Maybe her little friend had a 'newbie' tooth helper who didn't know that 20 bucks for a tooth isn't the going rate.

Happy Mom said...

We have an uber cheap tooth fairy who only leaves a single quarter. She's also a slacker who may take SEVERAL nights to notice that there's a tooth under your pillow!

Kate Nelson said...

So funny, I just had several conversations with my own daughter about our "cheapskate" toothfairy - fifty cents and some gum. Yesterday she came home with a 'window' in her mouth and told me that she was going to take a nap so that the toothfairy could come right away. Also, she requested that I ask the tooth fairy to bring $2 this time. Apparently, she thinks I have some kind of power to sway the tooth fairy. This morning the tooth fairy came (right before waking her up for school - nearly forgetting) and brought fifty cents and a pack of gum. After the initial dissappointment I found out that her friend gets $1 - I think she was hoping to out-do her little friend. Funny girl.