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Sunday, October 25, 2009

A Closet Full of Nothing to Wear

I got three shirts at Target last week. Only three, and at Target, of all places. A wild hair detour somewhere in between diapers and antibacterial wipes. Yet, I felt like a million bucks when I got the first compliment on the olive green, cable knit sweater.

Why is that? I wondered. My closet is busting at the seams. I stared at all the pretty fabrics, textures, all the varying lengths of sleeves and pants. Why is it that I feel I've got nothing to wear? Am I really reduced to being thrilled at a cream-colored cardigan on sale at Target? Then I figured it out.

I took a closer look at my clothes. It didn't take long to figure that I could categorize my clothes by size. Ever since the body-rollercoaster of kids "happened" to me, I have fluctuated a total of FIVE sizes in the last seven years of child bearing. This is how it breaks down.

I have the PRE-BABY SIZES. Mostly work clothes. Wardrobe classics. Trim dress pants, darling skirts. Things that I would use to dress for success. I coordinated lighting schemes, picked out the perfect rug, and explained the benefits of leather furniture in these clothes. They didn't get worn out, because there was no one spitting up or exploding their diaper on them. I wasn't crawling on the floor, and having sippy cups spilled on them. So I hung onto them. And I swore that someday, SOMEDAY I would fit them once again.

I have my POST BABY FAT CLOTHES. These are the ones tearfully purchased when I admitted defeat. When I sorrowfully conceeded, that I could no longer zip myself into the black pencil skirt with the beading at the bottom. When the extra 55 lbs (that's right, fifty-five) I gained with Baby #1 didn't all melt away, as I planned. This is the stash that I turn to when I realize that my baby is 2 months old and it's time to stop wearing my maternity jeans. A goodly number of these were purchased with a skinny friend, who, sensing my distress, comforted me (very sincerely) with the admission that she had some fat clothes that were (gasp) size 8. I no longer shop with her. But, I can't throw these away, because if I have another baby (if...), I'm going to need those fat clothes.

Then comes all the stuff in the middle. I have Skinny Day clothes, and Fat Day clothes. There are my very comfortable-but-unstylish Mom Day clothes and the Going Out with Girlfriends ones. There are the ones that are a little more forgiving--the type that are kinder to the parts of your body that won't (after 3 kids) ever be the same without the help of a good surgeon. Shirts that are huge now, but you know as soon as your milk comes in can barely contain busty you.

It comes down to this: Only a small percentage of my wardrobe is flattering at any given time. This revolving body of mine is the reason. The reason I have a closet full of nothing to wear. And the reason I rejoice in the three new shirts that fit me.

9 love notes:

Devin & Anisa said...

SO true! I recently went shopping in the Lake of the Ozarks outlets and was so excited for the 3 cute shirts I bought. Even though I try to tell myself that next summer they will be to big for me (hopefully). loved the post.

Carolyn said...

Amen, my sista!!!

Amy R said...

I can so relate. I just bought a new pair of jeans, spending way too much on something that I really, really hope doesn't fit me for long. But I LOVE them because they fit and don't squish my fat roll.

Happy Mom said...

Oh, boy have I been there!!!

Jessica said...

You KNOW I am struggling with this one! Hard to find anything in my closet 2 weeks postpartum ;)Thanks for making me feel a titch better about it.

Melissa said...

I love your blog because it always makes me smile :) I can soooo relate!

Allison said...

I only wish I had a Target to go buy 3 shirts that fit properly! Thanks for putting in to words what goes through my mind everyday when I look in my closet.

Wright said...

A million chicas around the US are nodding their heads in agreement!

Peterson Pack of Wild Dogs said...

I just love that you ca so elequintly describe every girls closet dilemma!!!