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Tuesday, July 21, 2009

B.Y.O.A.C.

To Any of My Non-Washington Friends Who Are Thinking About Becoming Washington Friends:

Just so you know, you might arrive fresh to Washington.
You may spend an exhorbitant amount of money on a brand new house. It might be on your final walk through with Builder Guy that you find out your new house doesn't have air conditioning. You might raise your eyebrows in surprised shock, and you might explain to him that, where you're from, people literally die without air conditioning. He might assure you that you don't need it, and that it gets warm only for about a week or two here in late August. You might narrow your eyes at him and give him a sideways skeptical look.

You might feel a little smug after you talk to Midwest friends and find out that their playgroup was cancelled due to a heat index exceeding 110 degrees. And after your mom in Kansas tells you that it's almost cool enough there to open windows at night. Because, after all, you skipped your playgroup because you thought it would be too chilly for the baby.

You might, into July, think that "hey, maybe there's something to this, since highs are hitting the 70s." But, then you may, as the temperature rises shortly after, start thinking, instead, "Waaaaiiiiit a minute." And as the sun beats through your west-facing windows and you sweat all through dinner (because after surviving the grey winter here, you refused to put any sort of window treatment up that would block a single ray of sunshine from your interior), you might purse your lips and nod your head in "I-told-you-so" confirmation.

You might look at the week's forecast, reaching into the 90's, and you might wonder what Builder Guy was smoking, to not put air conditioning in your home. Because, baby, you've still got a lot of summer to go. You might start cursing him under your breath. And then, you might start thinking about how much it would really cost to just drive around in your super hip minivan with the AC on.

I'm just saying, you've been warned.

Love, Me

10 love notes:

Anissa said...

My friend Gina sent me to your site after I told her I was melting here today. I live in Kenmore.
This post was spot on and I got a good laugh out of it. If we ever get the chance to build a house up here it will have A/C, no question about it. Sure it's only hot for 2 months out of the year, but if you're melting your way through those 2 months then life is miserable, kids are miserable and no one actually enjoys those beautiful months. :)

Liam's Mom said...

You are such a great writer, Mel.

Hang in there. We all know if we did move up there... Ian would have the AC and he'd have it going more than just those "few" weeks of the summer.

Love you to peices!

Happy Mom said...

I was trying to figure out what B.Y.O.A.C might mean before I read the post and I just couldn't fathom! I often think of pioneers and wonder how on earth they survived without air conditioning!

Zann said...

Brady and I went through the same thing when we moved there. It's a shock for sure to learn that houses just don't come with it! Yes, those "two weeks" are miserable without the AC!

Aubrey said...

I'm convinced that everyone who lives here who says you don't need air conditioning is insane. They have been so warped by the 9 months of rain that they don't understand that it's nice (and very possible) to be comfortable in one's home all year round. Our house in Redmond has a double bonus that our eco-friendly heating system has a very hard time keeping our house a nice temperature in the rest of the year too. :)

Leslie said...

I hear 'ya sister! Except that I have a swamp cooler. It's just a step above a fan. It's like those spray bottles with a fan you buy that when you spray it, the fan moves. I miss a/c.

Peterson Pack of Wild Dogs said...

I've missed your blog. It's the best. Seriously. Good warnings to those greenies. Way to go looking out for your fellowbeings!

Amy R said...

I sweat WITH the a/c. I'm SO sorry! I hope someday you will have tons of extra money to spend on a/c.

hannah k. said...

You are funny. Even if sometimes that guy "J" doesn't always get it, i think you're hilarious. However, just so you know, 90 is great because where i come from... it's 110 everyday. The "breeze" feels like a blow dryer on high and it's burning your skin. But that's just in the shade :)

Cory Elvidge said...

LOL u r 2 funny