Thursday, June 16, 2011


I am sighing a contented sigh.  It is evening, and my babies are all asleep upstairs.  Girlie was discharged this evening, and we are all together again.  She had her MRI today, which came back normal.  A HUGE, HUGE, HUGE relief because it meant no brain damage.  I was honestly preparing myself for that.  It also gives us no cause for the seizure, so that remains a mystery, but I'd rather have the mystery and the healthy brain. 

She is doing well today.  She could walk reasonably well by afternoon, though not for very long.  She was beyond excited to come home, and getting very bored (I was thrilled that she was bored, because I took it as a sign that she was returning to 'herself').  The boys and Sweetie were ecstatic to see her, and she them.  Once she got home, I felt that she improved greatly.  I sat in the playroom and watched them play together, and my heart just about burst with joy.  Her walking became much more steady, her voice seemed mostly normal.  In fact, by the time she went to bed, she seemed more just like a tired version of her real self.

It will be an adjustment.  We had a family talk about our new normal.  New normals suck. (I know, it's totally a potty word for me).  We were as positive as we could be about the changes.  For the next several days, Girlie needs supervision when on the stairs.  For the next 6 months, no bike riding, swimming, bathing, climbing, swinging--basically anything that would endanger you if you were to lose consciousness while doing it.  We'll be getting a video baby monitor and probably never sleeping a good night in our life again.  She will be on twice daily anti-convulsant medicine.  As Girlie put it, "Dad, a seizure is a big job."  She listened quietly during our meeting, then had J take her upstairs and I heard sobbing from her room.  I think all the reality of it (even understanding what a seizure is) came crashing down on her.

But at the end of this day, I have what I pleaded to God for: to have my girl back.  My heart is so full.

10 love notes:

Megs said...

So happy you are home! So grateful for this outcome. New normal does suck but who really goes swimming in Seattle anyway :) Thanks for these updates.

Jessica said...

Thanks so much for this update! I am so happy the results were normal and you are all together again!! I am a little sad for your new normal but like you said, you have what you prayed for. And knowing the mom you are, you will be dreaming up all sorts of amazingly fun activities to do together that will make Girlie forget all about any of the ones to avoid.

Love you and am always here for anytime you want to talk, or cry, or vent, or laugh, or want to stuff our faces with apricot pie.

Happy Mom said...

Just heart wrenching in a bitter sweet sort of way.

She said it well. A siezure IS a big job.

Do you have any idea how beautiful gratitude is in the middle of a trial? You, my dear, and your lovely family are simply gorgeous!

My thoughts and prayers are with you

Becky said... computer had a virus and we finally got it cleared up so I was checking blogs and came across this! So scary. I am glad everything turned out ok. Please let me know how I can help. I'll be able to drive again in July and it would be fun to get together. I will be happily driving all over the state after 6 months of restrictions. Thinking of you guys and praying for you. I know how prayers can lift up in times such as these. Love, Becky

Laura F said...

Wow. So glad you're all home and that she's doing well. I hope your new normal will go off as painlessly as possible, and that she'll find all kinds of activities to love. She's a creative little thing, I don't suppose that will be a problem. :-)

Amy said...

Feeling happy that Girlie's MRI was normal, sad for the new reality, that girlie can't just live the easygoing life of a kid. Sending prayers your way.

kim said...

I got very choked up reading your last few posts and I am just amazed at how mature and precious and sweet your girlie is. You have an amazing family and we will be praying for you and girlie. The emotions and joy you expressed are simply priceless. You have the right focus and spirit. Love you guys and think of you often!!

Kate Nelson said...

Life is so twisty. Just when you think you've got it figured out - it sends you a twist. I'm glad your twist still includes your sweet little girl with a normal brain.

You inspire me - thank you!

Aubrey said...

I'm so glad that girlie is doing better and back at home. It is always so hard to have a child in the hospital, so hard. I really wish I could be there to help, my heart is really aching for you. We understand a little about "new normal". It takes awhile to adjust, and sometimes, years later, you still mourn about the changes. But gratitude is the key to finding peace. Please call if you ever want to talk to someone. I will be praying for girlie and for you and J. I hope the doctors can find and fix the problem.

wendysue said...

I'm so sorry to hear all of this! But so glad she is home. I hope they can find a cause, or at least control the seizures. So scary. Maddie had one at 1 year old (febrile), and it's so hard to see your little ones like that. I'm sure she is in good care, not only from the Drs. but especially from a momma like you!