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Tuesday, June 14, 2011

My sweet girl had a seizure late last night.  I found her at about 11:40 p.m. as I was tucking them in one last time before I went to sleep.  She had one 3 1/2 years ago, but it was nothing like last night.  It was long, and much worse in a lot of ways.  She finally woke up at about 10:00 a.m. this morning. We had both anxiously been waiting for this all night long, so we were right there at her side telling her how much we loved her.  The first thing she said was "I love you Daddy.  I love you Mommy.  Can we go home?"  She was so small and delicate.  J leaned in to kiss her head and she wrapped her arms around his neck.

She was very groggy today.  She struggles to do most things, since she was so heavily sedated and the medicine is taking time to wear off.  Her speech was faster and clearer tonight.  By dinner time, we even tried to do some clear liquids.  The nurse asked her if she'd like a popsicle and some jello for dinner.  She said yes, then asked, "Can I please have a healthy option now?"  That's my girl. 

Tomorrow will bring an MRI and an EEG, and a discussion about long term solutions.  There's been a lot of emotion in these last 22 hours.  Boiling desperation as the ER people wouldn't let me see my daughter, frantic fear and the thought "No, no, no, no, no, no" going through my head, my heart breaking to see the masses of tubes coming out of her, choking, tearful sobbing in front of anyone and everyone today, and a fervent hope that this is all a bad dream.  There's also humble gratitude (gratitude is not actually a big enough word, but it's the only one I have) and love for the people who have already selflessly reached out to serve my family in so many ways.  The still small whisper of  "Be still, and know that I am God" answer that I got in response to hours of heart wrenching prayer. Thanks to those offering prayers on our behalf.  I feel them.  Please keep them coming.  Thanks for the sweet messages and texts that have touched my heart; they mean so much to me.  Sorry I haven't responded yet.  Because, like a child who cries their heart out and then falls fast asleep, I am exhausted.

11 love notes:

Bryner Family said...

Melynie- I am so sorry! I know that mother's fear and my heart aches for you right now. I pray that the doctors know just what to do to help her and all will be well with that sweet child. Love you and praying for you all!

Laura F said...

Melynie! That's so scary, I am sorry you're dealing with this right now! Hopefully the test results will come back with information that can give you answers and peace. You're in our prayers, please update when you have info!

Carolyn said...

Oh my goodness! I'm so sorry!! This would be my worst nightmare, as I'm sure it is for you. So scary. I'm so glad you are feeling some comfort from the Lord. We will keep your precious sweetie in our prayers along with you and your boyfriend. Have courage - be strong!

Megs said...

Melynie, I love you! I keep praying you will be sustained through this time. We are here for you and ready to help when you need us. Give Meg a big hug for us.

Karen said...

A million prayers and a pair of rose colored glasses coming at you. Oh, and an EBI-ITE too.
That's so scary. You made me hug my little ones a little tighter tonight.
Love you and your sweet family!

Gina said...

Darling girl. I am so sorry this happened to her and you were so distressed. My prayers are with you all. So glad she is coming out of the fog and feeling a bit better. LOVE AND HUGS!

Elizabeth said...

I'm so glad that Girlie has a mom who checks on her children before she goes to bed at night. And a dad that will ride in the ambulance and be by her side in the hospital. So happy that your updates are positive and that she's improving! I love you guys!
--Mom

Edna said...

Oh, no! I thought she was for sure in the clear by now. Poor girl. I hope the tests bring answers & not more uncertainty. I'm so glad she is okay.

Amy said...

Sorry, again. "Edna"= Amy, not some creepy stalker.

Jessica said...

I really hope you are feeling the love and prayers I am sending your way. It is the only thing I knew I could do right away and I have been doing it!! You know anything else you need, I am here. Love to all of you!

Happy Mom said...

Oh my goodness, girl! I haven't been on for a few day and this morning I'm reading through your posts.

More prayers coming your way.