As it turns out, they ARE listening...

So, I'm not quite sure what I've done.  I make a big effort to teach my kids to be grateful for what they have.  They know not to ask for things in the store and are generally happy with what they've got.  Well...

They seriously think they're not getting anything for Christmas.

Not like 'You were bad, you're not getting anything', but a very matter-of-fact 'We have everything we need.  We don't need anything for Christmas.'  I know because Girlie's teacher at church asked J if the kids really aren't getting any presents for Christmas?   

We had a conversation a couple weeks ago.

Girlie:  I am sooooo excited for Christmas!!!
Me:  You are?
Girlie:  YES!!!  I mean, but not for presents or anything, just because I love Christmas and I want to do a service project where we donate newborn kits--
Sammy (looking very surprised and a little skeptical):  People really donate newborn kids?
Girlie:  No, like onesies and diapers for babies.  KITS.
Sammy:  Yeah, I'm excited for Christmas too.  Not for presents, either. 
Girlie:  Yeah, we have everything we need.
Me:  Yes, we're very lucky, aren't we?
(a pause)
Girlie:  Are we really not getting any presents for Christmas?
Me: Have you ever not gotten any presents for Christmas?
Girlie:  No.
I just smile.

Fast forward to the conversation where Girlie proclaims to all her friends at church that there are no presents in our household this year.  And, while we're doing a more-experiences-instead-of-tons-of-gifts year, of course my kids are getting presents.

But I'm having a bit of a dilemma.  Am I Scroogy if I just let my kids believe they're not getting gifts?  There's no "I want this", no wish lists, no circling things in catalogs, really...no thought of ...self.  And isn't that what I want for my kids?  Except...is it?  It's weird, because I didn't think that kids would actually be like this.  Are they missing some of the excitement of Christmas?  We certainly want our kids to focus more on the birth of the Savior, and they're thrilled with the service things we've got planned, and they certainly are getting wonderful gifts and experiences for Christmas.  I'm just wondering if they've listened ...too well.  We are taking them to see Santa (even though we're not big promoters of Santa), but I'm pretty sure they'll have a blank look when he asks them what they want, since "a farm with horses" is off the table for now.  What do you think?  Are they missing part of childhood?  Or are they exactly the kind of people I have been trying to raise? 

Thoughts?

My favorite parenting tips

My lil sis is about to have her first baby (as in, due today).  And, being the older sister I find it my duty to be the Official Dispenser of Unsolicited Advice about being a parent.  Here are some of my favorite tips that people have given me, in no particular order.

1--Sometimes when your child wakes up from a nap they will be happy, sometimes unsure, and sometimes freaking mad at the world.  There's nothing you can do, just ride it out and they'll get over it soon.

2--Get on their level when you're having an important or disciplinary conversation.

3--When they ask for you, say "Yes?" because it sounds so much nicer than saying "What?"

4--Never buy them something in the store in the moment they're asking for it.  Come back later and buy it.  Or, when they're small enough, you can still buy it without them seeing it.  Save yourself some future entitlement issues.

5--You cannot spoil an infant by holding him/her too much.  Too soon they'll be pushing you away saying "'Nuff love, Mommy, 'nuff love!"

6--Write down all the cute things they say, because contrary to what you think, you won't be able to remember them all and write them down later.

7--Empower them.  Give them stools and put things on their level so they can help themselves (like putting kid dishes on a shelf their level so they can 'set the table' for snack time, ).

8--Every chance you get, tell them how special they are and how much you love them.

9--Natural consequences:  "If I have to spend all of my time and energy cleaning up this mess by myself, I will not have any energy left to {do that fun thing that you wanted to do}" makes more sense than "Clean this up or we are not {going to do that fun thing}!!"

10--People are more important than things/everything is disposable.  It doesn't matter how long it's been in the family, how expensive or new it is, or how much you loved it as a child--it can be ruined and thrown away.  Just keep telling yourself that people are more important than things.

11--Use encouragement, not praise.  I know, sounded weird to me at first too.  Examples:

"Wow!  You figured that out all by yourself!!" vs. "You are so smart!!"
"I enjoy your sense of humor so much!  You make me laugh!" vs. "You are so funny!!"

They might seem the same, but using the first phrases (the encouragement phrases) leads a child to draw conclusions about themselves ('I am smart/funny'), which is infinitely more powerful for them as a person, than for their self esteem to be based on judgements (praise phrases) from others.  Praise can acutally be very damaging to their self esteem, because they can come to rely on on praise and will struggle when they don't have it from others.

12--Warning:  You will love your baby so much that you can hardly stand it.  You will be so out of control, head over heels, crazy in love with this little person that you honestly think that your heart just may burst out of your chest.  You will know that you've never witnessed anything as amazing and miraculous as this little person, and you'll be so utterly enchanted with your child that, could he/she ask for a whole herd of ponies, you'd do it in a heart beat.  Your breath really will catch in your throat, and you will be so excited about your child that you will experience such a high of emotion that would be exhausting if it were about anything else, but is instead exhilarating.  It is a phenomenal, life-changing kind of love.

Join in the advice giving!  What's your favorite parenting tip?

Q. What is The Seattle Times? {and my fall mantel}

A.  The big field that we go to play in every fall because our backyard is too small and we don't have these beautiful leaves, and Mommy takes a million pictures of us.  Oh, yeah, and a newspaper too.

Sadly, I think her favorite thing is running from the camera.

I didn't tell him to put his arm around his brother.  To me, that's priceless.

Sometimes he looks like this.

But most of the time he looks like this...

The joy of fall!!  We love the last, outrageous burst of color.  It fills the soul.

So, I brought some of the fall-y feeling inside to my mantel.  The light here makes it hard to get really good pictures 9 months of the year.  But, here ya go.  Ideas for fall 2011.

I opted out of my usual leaf garlands and candles this year.  I went with a simple berry garland along the mantel and dug through my shelves for an assortment of books.  I am in love with the wreath, and I attached it by putting a thumb tack in the top of my window and using a loop of brown yarn to secure it.

The pumpkins I tipped on their side by putting a little adhesive cork circle on the side (I was going to use tape, but didn't have any artists tape).

I took all the jackets off the books and chose them for their color, not their title.  I wanted cozy fall colors.

50 lbs of candy

That's what it felt like, anyway.  Here is my little Cougar team (complete with bubble wrap football pads).  Clearly it doesn't matter to us where they go to school. ;)    

Between the church trunk or treat, Microsoft trick or treating, and the neighborhood, there was a lot of candy to be had.  If you need any, just come to our house.

And then yesterday, having reached my personal Halloween saturation point, I tore everything down and now it is Fall here.  Ahhhh....

25 things you don't know about me

So they say it's my birthday, and in celebration of the fact that I am a year older, here are some things you probably didn't know about me.  I can do that since this is my blog and all.

1. Most of the time I listen to 'Frank Sinatra Radio' on Pandora, but sometimes I jam to Beastie Boys when the kids are napping.

2. Part of my lower lip is still numb from my wisdom teeth extraction 14 years ago.

3. If I had it to do again, I'd hyphenate my last name.  Sometimes I do it for fun.

4. I love fruit snacks, fruit roll ups, fruit gushers, etc.  The more sour the better.

5. I won a medal for Latin ballroom dancing in college.

6. In middle school, I played volleyball for a year.  I was on not A, not B, but the C team.  I was that good.  I still remember the time I got the ball.  Yes, the time.

7. I have a sneaking suspicion that my left foot is slightly shorter than my right.

8. I have a bad memory, and it can usually retain only good things. 

9. I think maybe I was meant for another time--one where people wear more pearls and cheek-kiss 'hello, darling'.

10. When I was little I had bad excema and even my 'best friend' called me red fungi face.  Since then I've never really put weight into how I or anyone else really looks on the outside.  I see beauty from the inside.

11. If the scale could bear it, I'd eat cheesecake every day.

12. I've played hide and seek in the Utah governor's mansion.

13. I'm a little afraid of things that have more or fewer legs than I have.

14. I've never completely agreed with the order of the alphabet.  I've always thought Q should go later, like maybe by V or something.

15. One of my favorite all-time jokes is from my high school physics teacher "There are three kinds of people in this world--those who can count, and those who can't."

16. I have a total crush on my husband.

17. If I could pick an imaginary mode of travel, it would definitely be bouncing.

18. I sang an opera-style solo in a recital while at BYU. 

19.  When I was little, I'd go into old beautiful buildings (like our  Andrew Carnegie city library) and I'd imagine that I lived there.  I'd decide what all the rooms would be, which one would be my bedroom, etc.  I still do. :)

20. My friends are like sunshine to me.

21.  There's a part of me that wants to pack up and move to the country with big, wide open spaces.  I think someday I'll probably do it.  I know, I wouldn't have pegged me as farmer material either.

22.  I find water chestnuts very creepy.

23.  My favorite interior "look" is "things that have been salvaged from old buildings".

24.  Every day I'm grateful for something. Usually it has something to do with my kids.

25.  I can't think of a 25th (it's too early), but it seemed like an appropriately-sized list number.

Tell me something about you.  Or something you know about me. :)

Checking in

In the flurry of life, I've neglected posting.  But we are here, and doing well.  We've been having all kinds of fun, but as I have forgotten to document much, I'm sure the kids will all look back, see the lack of pictures, and wonder why I didn't love them enough to plan fun activities.  Halloween is a big deal around our place.  We do 'calendar', where every night they find a note in the appropriate pocket directing them to hunt for a fun game/activity/treat/craft.  We've had dance parties ('Monster Mash', anyone?), played 'Pin the Eye on the Ghost,' and today's calendar...shhhh....is caramel apples if we have enough time before the church trunk or treat. 

This year the kids are going to be BYU cheerleaders and football players.  I. cannot. wait.  J and I are going to dress up and be BYU fans, too.  Look at me, all catching the spirit of Halloween.  So many chances for candy, too--we've got the trunk or treat, regular trick or treating, and the Microsoft Halloween party.  For the latter, I was given strict instructions "Nice trick or treating bags (no chintzy grocery sacks), the kids need to be nice and clean (no grubby crumbs on faces), nice hair (no just-up-from-a-nap-pigtails-fell-out-and-now-I-look-like-a-mad-scientist hair, I suppose)."  Microsoft is sure picky about whom they give candy to, huh?

Fall colors have reached us in the Northwest and they are a sight to behold.  It got just hot enough at the end of summer that I didn't put up a stink when it was time for autumn.   The insanely beautiful tree colors-- vibrant oranges, deep reds--and gorgeous clothes colors--rich plums, hazelnut leather.  My kind of eye candy.  I've been loving soft cardigans and boots (J is not a fan of boots over jeans, and when I brought them home he dubbed them my "equestrian hooker boots").  I've been baking all kinds of breads and treats.  Did I mention I killed our microwave?  Four {very expensive} minutes of cooking nothing in the microwave will kill it.  You've been warned.  So, for a couple weeks I've been a total pioneer.  Heating up the stove everytime I needed something hot.  Digging out the toaster oven.  But our new microwave got here last night and so I'm hanging up my bonnet and my flint, and rejoining modern life. 

I'm experimenting with recipes for caramel apple cider, and I just found one that promises to rival Starbucks'.  I'll keep you posted.   Sweetie is now over her 'I hate chocolate' phase of life and it's been ...well, delicious.  A little too delicious, if you ask my scale.  I would say my scale is lying, but my jeans concur.  And, in the mouth of two or three witnesses...  One of my friends lost 50 lbs.  She was inspirational to me.  I don't want to lose quite 50, but, hey, we all have our own Everest, am I right?  My Everest just happens to be made out of Costco's salted caramels and oatmeal chocolate chip cookies.

The kids are doing fabulously well.  Girlie is lovely as ever, and is quite the little artist--just ask the  apple and pear still life she drew.  Sammy is loving kindergarten and comes home with little Spanish phrases and songs. Buddy is rocking co-op preschool, and sings the "monkeys jumping on the bed song" incessantly. Sweetie, oh, Sweetie...I cannot get enough of that girl.  Seriously, she is so amazing and delightful to me that I can hardly stand it!!!!  She toddles around chattering in the cutest voice ever, wrestles with the big kids, lets us cuddle her.  The girl is like sunshine.  I'm going to cry just thinking about her.  I realize that this makes it sound like she is my favorite, but I don't have favorites.  (But there is something to be said about the cute, tiny one that doesn't talk back...)

Enough.  Have a great day!

Halloween 'Vision'

Do you LOVE this eye chart?  I discovered a website (http://www.eyechartmaker.com/) that lets you put in whatever letters and words you want.  Really, the possibilities are endless.  I came up with this one for Halloween (I'm getting really excited) and can't wait to put it up.  So, go wild!  Check it out.  (FYI, to save the file and print, you have to right click on the finished image and save it to your computer).

A Little Spooky {Halloween Mantel How-to}

Buddy has been very excited about making our house "spooky, spooky".  I thought I'd share what we did for our Halloween mantel this year. 

Left my window up.  It just makes a nice backdrop.

Added some spiderwebs.

And some tarantulas.

Placed a bunch of black candlesticks, some of which hold 'fake flame' candles.

Then I added some 'creepy cloth' that I found at Dollar Tree. It's all gauzy and holey.  Creepy indeed.

Then I added some small jack 'o lanterns, which I will rearrange in a minute.

I added a bigger pumpkin to the middle (click to enlarge), and a pack of black silhouette rats running around.

Spooky, spooky--yes?

Topped the whole thing off with some fake pumpkins that are not, for the thousandth time, balls.

The rats are attached with artists tape.  It holds well with no residue.

After I did it, Buddy said it was "too spooky, spooky" and asked me to take it down.

Happy haunting!!

Style is Where You Find It

Here's our living room when we first moved in.

Most recently it looked like this...

Then after my sweet sister, Hannah helped me paint, it looks like this...

The color is Behr 'Antique Leather'

What a difference it makes!  Exact same mantel arrangement as above, totally different look.

Calming, don't you think?

I love this color, because is it warm and neutral without being boring (to me, anyway!).  J said he was (pleasantly) surprised because I usually go for more color, but maybe soothing is just what I need right now.  He bought a shirt this color for my birthday last year, and I have loved the color ever since.  You never know where you'll get inspiration!  I had a college professor that said "Style is where you find it--at a thrift store, an antique find, or an expensive furniture store." 

Once I found a gorgeous 'pineapple' design accent table for a client.  The table was perfect for her entry way.  It was well made, but by a 'value' furniture store.  It took her months to even bother looking at it, because she didn't want to buy something from that store.  When she finally did, she loved it and it looked stunning in her entry with a custom floral arrangement I made her. 

So look around, and find something that inspires you.  It might be something in nature or in your closet or your best friend's dessert plates that inspire a whole room.  Style is where you find it.

And then he turned 6.

 

It's true. That cute little screaming baby of mine is 6 now.  I can hardly believe it!  We celebrated his day with homemade pizza,

an alien/monster theme birthday cookie,

and presents that included a remote control Millenium Falcon.

We continued the celebrating to his 'friend party'.

Monster plates

Sassy monster cups

Worms in dirt

Eyeballs

Lady monster toes

And bandaged monster toes

More eyeballs (made from $2 worth of styrofoam balls, round stickers and a sharpie) 

Assorted body parts

The party scene (Buddy had pants on by the party, don't worry)

Monster making supplies

My super cheap and easy 'pinata'

Monster footprints leading up to the house

I made stencils out of  parchment paper and sidewalk paint

All the party people

J serving up swamp slime drink

It was a 'make your own monster' affair

And mummy pizza

The birthday wish

Pin the eyes on the alien

 

Assorted posterboard monsters

Happy birthday, my sweet son!  You are so bright and talented and you amazing me every day.  Thanks for lighting up my life and teaching me so much.  I love you a million, billion, zillion.