Wednesday, June 9, 2010


Yes, we're actually making up words to describe bigness. I don't think my kids specifically meant me when they invented this one, but I think the application is appropriate. And yet I keep growing.

Mind you, you can't say this about me, or even agree, really, unless you are also pregnant.

You can't be a facebook friend that I haven't actually talked to in years and comment about me in a photo (that was taken at 7 months) "[You] look ready to pop. Are there twins in there??"

You can't be a 16 year old sales clerk at the shoe store and say "Wow. I had a baby three months ago and no one could even tell I was pregnant."

You can't be an older lady and say, "When I was pregnant, they didn't even want us to gain more than 15 lbs."

And, if you are a stranger, you can't rub my belly, even for good luck. It's barely tolerable when friends do it.

Simple rules, people. All you should really say to a huge, pregnant girl is "Wow, you look so great/cute/glowing" even if you're lying through your teeth. Or ask how she's feeling, because if she's anything like me, she's feeling something.

And you don't, under any circumstance, pass me (and my husband and three kids) in the laundry detergent aisle of Costco and say loudly, "Someone's been busy! --do a double take-- VERY busy!!" in a wink-wink, nudge-nudge kind of tone.

I'm in the last, miserable phase of pregnancy where I'm ready to trade my quiet nights for the sweet sounds of a newborn. Ready to have my body back, instead of this aching, bulbous thing I've been hauling around. And start looking for that surgeon who's going to laser me back into pre-baby form. I wish.

Not that being this huge doesn't have it's perks, because it does. The Belly works nicely as a shelf for my nightly ice cream, which I'll miss (the ice cream, not the shelf), and also as a convenient place to put my cell phone when I'm driving and have speakerphone on (that I might miss).

It will just be nice to be able to reach my feet again (and stop accidentally wearing brown shoes with a black outfit). That's all. I'll stop talking. Typing. Whatever.

11 love notes:

Leslie said...

Someone needs to write a for real, no holds barred book about what to do and not to do to a pregnant woman. I got the "You are just so big" comments all of the time!!!

Amy said...

"You know, Amy, you've gained a lot of weight lately." Don't be that person either.

Miss you! I keep thinking about you pregnant & wishing we were two pregnant ladies sitting in my car eating ice cream at Fritz's.

Allison said...

You are NOT Ginormic! You look cute, great and are definitely glowing!!!

Jessica B said...

Your rules crack me up. They are totally true. People can be so rude. Like when my co-worker saw my blog this week, looked at my profile pictures, and said, "I'm sorry but you look fat in that picture." Wow, thanks.

Seriously, you look great. Good luck with the end of your pregnancy.

Gina said...

I think you look pretty dang awesome! Glowing is right - and you have always had flawless skin!

I am sorry people are SO RUDE. Stories like these make me think, "Really, are people actually that rude?..." I don't understand it at all.

Miss Mim said...

You are absolutely glowing! And look divinely happy, beautiful, and stunning in a "I-wish-I-look-like-that-when-I'm-prego" kind of way.
I read the post to my roommate because she was wondering why I was laughing so hard I was crying.

Laura F said...

I think people in Seattle must be more thoughtless than the lovely folks here in missouri. You should move back.

Just kidding, but I always have to throw that one out there.

Sorry people are so uncouth! Your list scares me a little because I think I'm probably a little like that with people I may never see again. They might not say horrid things to close friends, either. I got the twins one EVERY TIME I ran into one certain man in my parent's neighborhood. Like he couldn't believe the ultrasound hadn't picked up twins and the doctor was obviously wrong, and he felt he should tell me that just in case. Seriously. Multiple comments, multiple times. And then there was the time my mom slipped up and told me at three months pregnant that I weighed then what she had when she delivered. She wrote me an apology later because she was so mortified I guess what she'd thought had slipped out like that.

ps - does little girl ever kick that phone or bowl of icecream off your lap? Love you, miss you.

HangerMom said...

Seriously, doesn't the 4th baby roundness come on a million times faster than the others?! I swear I'm a million times bigger this time around than I've ever been, and I'm only 18 weeks. I can only imagine where I'm headed.

You, of course, look stunning. And I'm excited for you that you're on the home stretch. Oh, and I love the speakerphone shelf idea. I hadn't thought of that one. Nice use of your assets ;)

Things' Mommy said...

Oh, I loved reading these comments! It reminds me how much I love my friends--how funny and thoughtful you all are! I love and miss you all!

Orsolya Nance said...

Well, the way you look simply makes me want to have another baby!!!!

But your sweet little girl is here now and I am so happy for your family!!! (can I come over to get my baby time ;o)?

Happy Mom said...

You are hilarious!!! Every pregnant woman has experienced it. Which is why it's sooo funny!

I think you're adorable!