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Friday, January 1, 2010

Fat


That is the stage right in between "normal self" and "oh, look, what a cute pregnant girl." The stage where you're not obviously expecting, but you groan just a little when you have to change out of your yoga pants and get into your regular jeans, even though they have 1% spandex. It's the "wow, those holiday cookies were not kind to her" stage, right before you look cute-pregnant.

I ran into Bonnie on New Year's Eve. She's my pregnant buddy, but I haven't seen her in months. We attended the same fun party (a family party with an East Coast countdown--I will say, that is the WAY to do it!!). Bonnie is 5 months along. She's adorable anyway, but now pregnant, she's got this cute, little bump right in front. It's perfectly round and cute. In a tiny way, I'm glad that I don't see Bonnie more. Because, I on the other hand seem to have just...exploded around my entire mid section. I want to wear one of those shirts that simply say "pregnant" on them, as sort of a mumbled explanation of why my pants appear to be cinching me off.

In St. Louis, I had these friends, Lynn and Lance, who were my go-to peeps for self esteem during my pregnancies. Let me back up. During my first pregnancy, I gained almost 55 lbs. True story. Well, my sweet husband loved me anyway, bless his heart. He did, however, make a little joke as we were getting ready one morning that should have stayed quietly inside his head--"Hey, wouldn't it be funny if you made beeping noises when you backed up?" Our bathroom was tiny and crowded back then, but still. If he hadn't offered to shave my legs that I could no longer reach...he would have been in serious trouble. It's been seared in my brain ever since. Suffice it to say, I don't necessarily turn to to him, fishing for prego compliments. Enter: Lynn and Lance. They are friends who used "glowing" and "beautiful" and "you make heels look good even 9 months pregnant" very liberally.
I miss them.

Have you seen "Monsters vs. Aliens"? If so, you'll recognize the guy at the top. His name is Bob. I feel like Bob.

PS: Bonnie, are we still on for that playdate? ;)
PPS: Lynn, I may be calling soon.

7 love notes:

Tasha said...

I know what you're talking about--not because I've been pregnant, but because I've witnessed those stages and you're completely right. I'm sure you're not nearly as bad as you think and that cute pregnant stage is on the horizon! Jeff called me the obesity goddess this break and I'm not even pregnant. Guys just don't know when to be quiet!

Aura said...

I'm going to need some photographic evidence :)

Amy R said...

Uh, Lynn is your go-to for self esteem during pregnancy? How can she possibly relate to feeling fat?

Jessica said...

I just saw you today and you are lying.

I must agree...Bonnie is an adorable pregnant woman.

Wright said...

At least you have the excuse of being pregnant....the rest of us, "um, yeah I did eat 150 cookies and 10 gallons of eggnog--so what?!!" (; I'm sure you look adorable!

BonBon said...

Once again you completely cracked me up with your post! You are WAY too nice!!! Thank you for the compliments! I've been feeling a little down about my changing body and I don't know if you realize how much better you just made me feel. It is so hard to have your body change so drastically so quickly!!! And I agree with Jessica, you look absolutely great! You definitely don't give yourself enough credit! I would love to get together anytime for our play date!!!

Happy Mom said...

This post made me happy! I always think that pregnant women are so cute, except me, I'm just a cow. MOO!

I agree with Amy, Lynn knows nothing about feeling fat, but she's so fun at book club!! If book club goes on for years, we still miss your face there!