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Sunday, March 15, 2009

I Think I Might Be Invisible

In fact, I'm pretty sure that I must phase in and out of visibility. I'm trying to figure it out. It might be like our TV. After 8 1/2 years of marriage, we still have the same 19" TV we started with. True story. Anyone who's come over and watched a movie at our house will testify. They probably still have the squint wrinkles by their eyes. Anyway. When we try to watch a DVD, the picture will periodically go in and out. So will the sound, but not always at the same time. We all take turns wiggling the yellow and white cords. Even the kids know how to do it. I know, I know--we should just spring for a new TV. That isn't the point.

I think I might be like that TV. Sometimes they see me, but the sound is off. They can see my mouth moving, but they can't actually hear the words "Please stop making 'potions' out of my fancy soap."

Sometimes they can't even see me. Like when Sam Sam is sliding down the stairs, ruining my new carpet. I can stand there and tell him not to. The reply? "I'm not." Clearly he cannot see me watching him. I can tell Girlie that beds are not trampolines or that climbing on top of the Barbie house could result in crashing through the window to a horrible death in the beautiful backyard landscaping. She is unfazed.

I was perplexed. Then, ta-da, I figured out this TV analogy and realized that it might not be their fault at all--I might be invisible. In fact, I have proof. Look through our photo albums sometime. I am only in about 2% of the pictures. Otherwise, no trace of me, except that the kids' clothes are coordinated. I swear I was there on vacations, trips to the zoo, park, pumpkin patch. However, since I am part time InvisiGirl, I don't actually show up most of the time.

They are not to blame after all. Mystery solved.

PS: To be fair, J is Part Time InvisiBoy, too. His time just happens to be at night, when any potty issue, bad dream, or teething baby comes directly to my side of the bed. Go figure.

6 love notes:

Liam's Mom said...

You are killing me! I love your writing so much I want to start a fan club!

I admire your wit among, what I am sure, is frustrated screaming going on the inside. You are a hero indeed... InvisiGirl isn't what I'd call you though.

That postscript at the bottom is SO how it is.

JustusFam said...

oh my goodness, I just had a issue with Em before i read this...told her no to a cookie 5 times....one right after the other...
Mom can I have another cookie?
NO!
"just one more"
No!
"but just one more"
NO!
Mom i just want one more pppllllleeeeaaaasssseeee....
NO!! If you ask one more time you will have to go to the corner for not listening to me!....(2 seconds later...not kidding)
Mom can I have another cookie?
She just finished her corner time!
SERIOUSLY!! AHHH!!!!

Amy R said...

I can definitely relate, especially when the TV is on. I don't seem to be able to draw attention to myself.

Allison said...

HILARIOUS!!! I've been wondering if I need to take my kids to the ear and eye doctor. They too have the same symptoms of all other kids! I'm afraid they won't grow out of it until they are parents themselves.

The Donaldson Family said...

So funny!
I guess that's what I will be going through in the not too distant future:)

Cory Elvidge said...

LOL LOL LOL I love it! And I'm with you on the "only belonging to 2% of your photographically recorded lives." :) I just like to think that I have my own copies of all the pictures I take. Only instead of being stored on my computer, they are stored in my head. In my copies, it is zoomed out and I can actually see me snapping the picture excitedly as part of the final photograph. :)