Thursday, January 15, 2009

Like, Totally. What-ever (do the hands).

I'm no dummy. Standardized test scores will attest.


Let's just say...

Okay. This morning I googled myself for fun. Always entertaining to see what is floating around in cyberspace about you. Several entries came up, mostly from people who list me on their blogs or business/interior design listings. Then, right near the bottom, was an article from the Deseret News. How funny, thought I, there is someone with my exact same maiden name. I started reading the article. It was some sports article, detailing the thoughts of BYU/Utah students on the upcoming rivalry game.

A side note: I am pretty sure that before I came to earth, during the distribution of talents, I said, "Hey, I will trade all of my athletic talents for creativity." and He said, "Done." Apparently, that includes sports knowledge or interest, too. I have never, and still don't, have any clue when it comes to sports. None. I don't know how many quarters are in a hockey game, don't know what an 'option' is, except that it runs in a football game. Clearly, I don't know much. The things I do know: 1. Sports are played by teams. Or individuals. 2. Just because a team has colors you like (which is how I generally decide who I am cheering for), doesn't mean they're good. and 3. The Celtics haven't been the same since Bird left.

The last one was a highly effective line that I would pull out when I wanted to impress guys with my sports knowledge. I don't know what it means. I only know that when I would say it, the guy would invariably raise their eyebrows and nod, impressed. They'd then jump in and start rambling about basketball and I'd just sit back and say, "Oh, totally." I think I've made my point.

Back to this article. I skimmed through different student's opinions, including a Ute girl who assumed they'd win because their "uniforms look better." Every student they mentioned sounded like they were a ditzy blonde, grape gum smacking, head bobbing, giggling coed. You could almost see them tossing their hair and winking at cute guys walking by. Then,

Shannon Funk, a freshman art major at BYU, figured the Cougars will win by 30. "Utah's pretty good, actually," she said. The Rock Report could only wonder what score she would have predicted otherwise.

Finally, there was Melynie James, a freshman public relations major at BYU, who picked the Cougs to win by 40. Why 40?

"Because," she said, "we don't drink beer."

Huh, that's weird. I was friends with a Shannon Funk at BYU. ...You know, I was a public relations major when I started (it was as close to a party planning major as I could find). Weird.

Scroll to the top. Date: November 19, 1996. Weird. That's the year I was a loud, bubbly, energetic [obnoxious] freshman.

Oh. My. Gosh. That's me.

I laughed out loud and went to get J to witness it. "Yeah. That sounds like something you'd say," he replied, after the laughter died down. Then he reminded me of how lucky I was that we met after that phase of my personality had mellowed. I tried to explain that, at the time I'm sure I had no idea what "40 points" even meant, and that even though I was a season ticket holder, I went to the football games primarily to watch the Cougarettes perform at half-time. He just laughed more.

All I have to say is, like, what-ever.

8 love notes:

Chelsea said...

That's HILARIOUS!!!! You are such a great writer.

Amy R said...

Yeah, Melynie, my sports knowledge is also lacking. In fact, I have to ask, is 40 points a lot in football? It seems that's what you're implying, but I wouldn't have known. See that, how I just learned something about sports from reading your blog? Bet you never thought that would happen! And now I've made a fool of myself on your blog as well as my own!

Bryner Family said...

That's the Melynie I know and love. :) How funny that your thoughts on football will be preserved forever. Hee hee hee hee hee.

JustusFam said...

Am I odd?????? :-)

Things' Mommy said...

Odd, Chris? I'M the one who thinks the Cougs can win by 40 just because we don't drink beer. I've been teased about "blonde roots" for a long time now...

You had to have just rolled your eyes at this! : )

Amy, that's another reason I love you. You let me teach you about football.

Terry said...

HA HA!!! That was a VERY cute story and so well written!

The Donaldson Family said...

Just wanted to let you know that I love your blog! Great story!

Zann said...

OMGosh!!! Melynie, that is the funniest thing I have ever read. I had to read your post to Brady and we couldn't stop laughing! I just have a hard time believing that you were ever the bubbly, grape gum smacking kind of girl! Sure miss ya!